Mom, I'm Not A Girl: Raising a Transgender Child

Thanks to the likes of Caitlyn Jenner and Orange is the New Black star Laverne Cox, the term transgender has recently moved into the mainstream. But they are adults. What’s it like for a mother whose child makes it clear they don’t feel they were born with the ‘right’ body ?

Watch the inspiring video below for an insight in to Penelope's life.

How can a parent know if their child is transgender?

So much of this depends on the age of the child. In much of the current research about this, there isn’t a clear consensus in the community or among providers. The term “transgender” itself has gone through dynamic shift over time but is generally taken to mean someone who has a gender identity, a gender expression, a gender performance that is outside of the expected cultural norms for their assigned sex at birth.

Transgender is an umbrella term that we use to describe someone who does not conform to society's view of being male or female.

Most people understand that gender identity and sexual orientation (who you are attracted to) are separate parts of what makes up a person. Why do LGBT organisations work with both?

Many transgender people are lesbian, gay or bisexual
Many lesbian, gay or bisexual people are transgender
Lesbian, gay and bisexual people frequently challenge gender boundaries in their social and often sexual behaviour and are often victims of hate crimes because of their gender presentation
Transgender people have always been present in the LGB community. Drag, butch-femme culture and androgyny are all features of transgender influence.
Transgender people have played important roles in campaigning for LGBT rights over many years

Understanding sex and gender

Gender – Refers to the attitudes, feelings and behaviours that a given culture associates with a person’s biological sex. The terms girl/woman, boy/man are assigned at birth on the basis of biological sex and have many socially constructed expectations, standards and norms that can limit and oppress people’s gender expression.

Sex – Refers to physical differences between male and female bodies, including the reproductive system and/or other biological characteristics. Sex is most commonly divided into the categories of male and female however biological sex is much more diverse (see Intersex definition).

Gender Identity - A person’s deeply felt internal and individual experience of gender, which may or may not correspond with the sex assigned to them at birth.

Gender Expression – A person’s external gender related appearance including clothing, speech and mannerisms. Usually defined as connected to masculinity or femininity, however we recognise that people express their gender out with these traditional notions.

What did people have to say about the video above?

Definition of transgender

"The fact that she said that Penelope is a boy REGARDLESS of whether or not he gets reassignment surgery is so, SO important. Because it's a very important message concerning all the gender non-conforming individuals out there, from trans people that don't elect to have the operation to boys with girls' bodies and everything in between, that it really isn't your sex that defines your gender."

"A world where everyone can be who they are on the inside as long as its not physically harming anyone is okay and beautiful to me"

"I don't know why people confuse tom girls with transgender boys. It's a very different thing. I was a tom boy but never once did I feel uncomfortable in my body or with my gender. Transkids feel literally uncomfortable in their own skin"

"At first I didn't get it but now I realized it doesn't matter how's your child is born but if they feel their that gender and if they feel that's them then just love them like that and the love that the mother shows the child is really important it is good that she supports her child no matter what gender they are. Wow that was deep"

What does that mean?

Transsexual -When a person's gender identity is the different to the biological sex they were assigned at birth. Transsexual people may have medical treatment, such as hormone treatment or surgery to bring their physical appearance more into line with their gender.

Trans Man - A transgender person who was assigned female at birth but whose gender identity is that of a man. Trans men should be treated as men and male pronouns should be used.

Trans Woman - A transgender person who was assigned male at birth but whose gender identity is that of a woman. Trans women should be treated as women and female pronouns should be used.

Non-Binary Gender - Gender identities that are not exclusively male or female are identities which are outside of the gender binary. People can be both male and female, neither or their gender may be more fluid (i.e. unfixed and changeable over the course of time).

Cross-dressing – Wearing clothing typical of the opposite sex. People who cross dress identify with their biological sex. This can include both drag performance and transvestitism.